Show All » 2012/01 » Are you Blessed or Lucky
Sunday, January 22, 2012Are you Blessed or Lucky?
We Filipinos have an old tradition of wearing polka dots while having lots of round fruits displayed on the dining table or hanging by the main doors of the house during New Year's Eve. The round objects symbolize prosperity and money. It is also our custom to light several firecrackers to drive away the evil spirits and bring good luck.
I could never forget the time when one of my godfathers gifted me a custom-made firecracker. It was so powerful and dangerous that he gave me specific instructions how to use and where to ignite the firecracker. I loved it because the louder the boom, the more spirits you drive out, I thought.
I remember hanging that firecracker beside a blossoming flower tree of my mom (I hope my mom won't get mad at me as she reads this part because I'm not sure if I confessed this before). The big bang caused the leaves and flowers of her wonderful tree to be obliterated, literally. Sorry mom, I guess it was the tree's fault because it did not move when I ran away... (Okay, the running tree was a joke but the sorry part is real, I love you mom!)
Looking back, whenever I think about these old traditions, like for example the polka dots and the round fruits, I ask myself, what does it really do? If the round objects represent money, are they referring to a coin? Does this mean that if I wear polka dots, I will have coins for the rest of the year? If that is the case, I have to start wearing clothes with green stripes which would symbolize American dollar (bling-bling).
I am not in any way making fun of any customs, beliefs or traditions. What I wrote here is my personal opinion base on my personal experiences. I have no intention of changing someone's beliefs on these traditions and I respect whatever you believe in. We Filipinos grew up with many customs and traditions passed on to us by our ancestors and this is what makes us unique and I'm proud of it.
By the way, I would like to greet all my Chinese-Filipino friends all over the world a Happy Chinese New Year - "Gung Hay Fat Choy!"
Have you heard someone tell you that if you want to be lucky, just follow a tradition and you will be lucky for the rest of your life? I did wear polka dots several times during New Year's Eve hoping that I will be lucky for the rest of the year. Guess what, I never had a full year of being lucky. Personally, I do not believe in luck. Being lucky is caused by one action; betting on it. Being lucky is all about chance. It is almost futile to put your hopes on luck. Hoping for luck is simply gambling.
There is a way to be more than lucky and you do not have to bet on it in order to happen. All you have to do is ask. They call it God's grace.
This is one sure thing that you can place your hopes on. This is what triggers God's favors to happen in your life - hope on it.
Isn't it great! Whenever you hope for God's grace, you do not need to do extraordinary deeds to receive it. In fact, you don't even have to earn it. You can ask for it even if you are most undeserving!
This year, when I wrote my New Year's resolution, I placed my hopes that God will grant me his favors that I will be able to accomplish them all. The results may not come right away but my goal is to see a significant development on my resolutions by the middle of the year.
I know people have achieved their resolutions through discipline and hard work. I believe everybody can do it too but for me, it is more meaningful when I have God guiding me by my side. I personally have a lot of weaknesses and I do not want to compromise anything by removing divine assistance in the picture. I have learned (the hard way) that I can never be able to do things perfectly by myself. When I do things by myself, I am biased and it's easy to cheat.
By the way, since I am talking about resolutions, have you started working on your New Year's resolutions already?
My New Year's resolution for 2012 is to eat healthy and stay fit.
I started to do my resolutions on day one. On new year's day, I ate the low fat "Chicken Joy" at Jollibee (this is the Mc Donalds of Filipinos) and the ever famous zero fat "chicharon" (deep fried pig skin), yummy! Although I skipped eating ice cream for dessert, the chocolates was an awesome second choice.
Okay, I know what you are going to say but what can I do? It was New Year's Day! I did not want the spoil the party. (You see what I mean when I wrote that you can easily cheat yourself by having tons of excuse).
Kidding aside, if I discipline myself, I'm sure I will be healthier next year than where I am today. This is not luck, it is a decision. I will be healthier next year because of my discipline, hard work and of course God's mercy that I will never got sick. This is my secret formula and it's not a secret anymore.
Talking about a secret formula, when I was watching a Filipino talk show, I found out that based on the Chinese calendar, I was born in the year of the sheep. I heard them say that I must wear an amulet or a lucky charm related to the sheep so I can have good health for the whole year. They added that I still have to do some exercise to maintain my body fitness but isn't it that that's all we need to stay fit - exercise?
I have followed some traditions and I did many things to be lucky in the past but they are not reliable.
Today, I only rely on one thing and one thing alone - it is God's love to us.
God's love reveals his plans for us.
Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope."
God's plan for us is always perfect. There are many times where we find it hard to see his plans simply because we rely on many other things like our own strength, our own money, our own capabilities and sometimes our own lucky charms.
God knows our capabilities, our strengths, our weaknesses, our needs to accomplish his work, and our abilities.
If our limitation prevents us from accomplishing God's work, He will send people to help us. Sometimes we misjudge a person by thinking that may not be the perfect person to help us but God's ways are not our ways. Sometimes we even think that these people are the cause of our downfall but that's okay. Believe and take courage. It's all part of God's great plan for us. I have been in this situation a million times and I can tell you this from my heart. All we need to have is the courage to stand firm and believe that God looks for our welfare and not for calamity to give us a future and a hope.
I have learned throughout the course of my life that all people you meet are not consequential. They were meant to be there at the right place at the right moment. This is God's blessing!
We need to start putting our trust in God more than ever. Trusting God gives us courage to commit to our goals even though in the face of fear.
I remember my nephew when we were at the parking lot at the Golden Gate Bridge. He fearlessly jumped to one of the stairs because he probably knew that I was holding him and I'm not going to let go of him (if I did, I would not be here today because my sister will torture me and not to mention that I will never forgive myself - I love you sis).
This is how we should act whenever we face challenges in our lives.
When we know that God is holding our hands, like my nephew, we should never fear of any challenges. God is holding us and He will never let go. We fear because we let go but still, God is there to catch us if we fall. This is how I understand God's love.
The scripture says, "For God so love the world that he gave his only son..." (John 3:16) If you know that God loves you so much, trust in his words and stop worrying. "And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?" (Matthew 6:27)
It's not all about what we do or what we have done to win God's favor; it is all about his great love for us.
The greatest part about Gods love for us is that even if you have done wrong all throughout your life, you will still receive God's blessings. "...He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." (Matthew 5:45)
Although you do not have to return the favor to God; after all, He has everything, it is just proper to respond to His great love for being victorious with your ordeals. One way of being thankful is to pass on that blessing to others because you will never know when you will be asked this question in the future - "Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?" (Luke 17:17-18)
Always be thankful to God's favors. His loving grace should reflect on your actions to others. People should see God's image in you. After all, we are created in His image and likeness. These actions will be the key factors that will draw blessings and abundance in our lives.
Some of you may be surprised when I say that not all blessings that we receive require God's help. Wait, I though you wrote that all blessings come from God. Some of our blessings happen in our lives through our actions.
Let me give you an example. You are walking down the street and you smiled at another person. I can guarantee you that almost 99.9 percent, that person will smile back at you. For me, that is a blessing. That blessing is caused by your action of smiling at the person. You made his or her day by smiling and in return his or her response to smile back at you will also make your day. You were blessed in that situation and you didn't need divine intervention for that to happen. A blessing was given to you on your decision to act. Just be careful though when you smile specially to a beautiful lady with her jealous husband, in that case 99.9 percent you will get a black eye.
You will probably hear and read a lot of ways on how to bring abundance to your life and have a lucky New Year.
Horoscope will tell you that you should follow the stars to bring you good luck.
A fortune teller may advise you to use lucky charms.
"Nardong Putik" will tell you to use an amulet.
When you ask me, there is only one thing and one source and that is our Heavenly Father.
Let me share one more note before I end. I have a friend who told me his story about his luck when he invested on the stock market. He quadrupled his investment in one day. I told him that it was not luck that made him money; it was timing, a perfect timing.
Also, if he did not take any action, if he did not have the courage to invest then nothing would have happened.
How will you know when is the perfect time?
"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." (Matthew 7:7)
Luck is a chance and it happens to people who are deserving or undeserving. Unfortunately, I do not know how it works and I cannot say anything more to it. Blessings are gifts given by God to both deserving and undeserving through His grace. It's not hard to understand how God's blessings would flow in your life, all you have to do is believe in His words.
As I write this part, we were supposed to board the plane but our flight is delayed for another 45 minutes. This extra minutes was totally a blessing because here I am finishing my blog for you. Would you call that lucky? I like to call it God's grace.
As we are about to embark on the plane, I thank God for giving us a wonderful Christmas vacation. Spending time with my parents and relatives is priceless. I thank God for all of them!
Finally, there must a reason why God preserves us to live another year. One thing is for sure, that is a blessing!
I pray that you will be blessed this whole year!
Be truly blessed!
God is the greatest!
Posted By: Allen Espejo @ 3:28:05 PM
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Show All » 2011/12 » A Wonderful Life
Saturday, December 31, 2011A Wonderful Life
Another year is about to end and I'm sure many of us are optimistic this coming New Year.
It’s the time where a lot of people vision big dreams, create plans, set goals, draft a long list of new years resolution and many other things. A lot of us including myself have high hopes this New Year. I guess this is the beauty of celebrating the new year. It brings us new hope and new beginnings.
But what about the people whose dreams were crushed this 2011? How about the people who failed miserably? Those who almost lost everything? Those whose lives were devastated this year? Would they have the same optimism?
There was once a New Year in my life when I felt I have no place to go but down. I felt the world has turned their back on me. In the midst of these bad moments, all it took was another bad incident to turn a bad year into one of the best New Years in my life.
How did this happen? How can a bad incident trigger one of the best things that can happen to a persons life?
I can never forget that New Year moment because that was the first and only time my dad and I had an argument. After that incident, for the first time in my life, it made me realize how ungrateful I was to my parents. I was self-centered and had no direction. All I was thinking was for myself and myself alone. It was weird but that was also same time I realized how special I was to them.
When I reached that turning point in my life, things around me started to change drastically for the better.
Regardless of the outpouring grace, my ways did not change in an instant. I still have to struggle through a lot of old habits but it was a start of a journey towards a wonderful life.
There were times when I would still lose hope along the way. There are times when I think it would be better if I was never been born. I thought that the good things happening in my life would not make any difference anymore.
Have you ever felt this way?
With all the trials and challenges we face, was there a time when you wish you were not born?
Have you ever imagined what would be the world like without you?
One thing is for sure, the world will never be the same without you.
I believe that everyone was born for the purpose of making our world a better place. Its sad that some people were not able to find their purpose through the course of their lives.
This is probably one of the reasons why a persons life goes wrong. If a person is not doing his or her purpose in life, they end up doing what they think what is best for them. Unfortunately, without a purpose, you will never be the best you can be.
But don't worry if you could not find your purpose, its not the end of the world. That in itself has a purpose. I may sound confusing but let me give you my example.
When I was younger, I only did the things that I want to do to make me rich. I find nothing wrong on what I was doing because I thought my purpose is to make myself rich and the fruits of my labor was for myself and myself alone. During the early stage of my life, I did not understand why I did these oblivious and selfish acts but today as I grow in my spiritual life, by the grace of God, I found out that these weaknesses and failures has become my tools to give strength and hope to others.
It is now clear to me that all the weaknesses and failures happened not only to help others but ultimately to equip myself to be stronger and more resilient whenever I face obstacles in life.
We all know that God does not create junk and I'm sure that He has a very good reason why he placed you where you are right now.
If you think you are stuck in a place where you think there no way out, never lose hope. As long as you live, you will always have the chance to make this world a better place. The question is, are you willing to take the challenge? Are you willing to change for the better?
A good example would be Paul the Apostle. Paul was one of the greatest enemy of the early Christians. Paul confesses that he persecuted the church of God beyond measure. He was consenting to the killing of Stephen (one of the early Christians). God's ways are really not our ways. Just think about it, why would you get a Christian killer to be a Christian evangelizer. But that Gods purpose for Paul.
When Paul found his real purpose, his life was never the same again. He was considered as one of the worst persecutor but he became one of the best apostles. He never discovered how beautiful his life was until he found out what is Gods purpose for his life. Paul could have said no but he choose to say yes!
Finding the beauty and wonders in our life depends on the choices we make. It all depends on our choice. This is one of the best gifts our God gave to us - free will. This is a privilege to all of us living in this world.
So, be thankful that you are given this gift of life. Never say that you wish you were never born because life if a gift and it's wonderful!
I will be forever grateful to Our Creator that I am given the chance to live in this wonderful world of ours.
I feel I need to share this feeling of gratefulness to everyone. I don’t have to but I choose to.
Just like today, while I’m writing this blog. I am staying at my sisters place in California to stay with my parents and to see my relatives. It is fair to say that I’m here for a vacation and I should be doing what a vacationer should be doing, relaxing. But here I am, writing my blog for you but do I really have to? Should I take away my quality time with parents rather than writing a blog for you? After all, I can do this after my vacation...
Again, this is my choice. My mom and my wife are watching "telenovela" while my dad is watching my sisters son, his "apo" (grandson), sleeping and I’m here in the same room writing. What more can I ask for? Life is simply wonderful!
I think this is what we need to do to have a wonderful life. We have to give ourselves to others. Giving is not expensive. Time and talent can be given for free. It's all about giving. For me, having a great life is not about how much you earn, its how much you can share.
To end, let me share you something I saw the other day.
While we were walking around Union Square in San Francisco, we saw a beggar holding a sign that says "Im too ugly to be a stripper too stupid to steel" (I think he meant steal). I didn't want to offend him but I could not help but laugh at his brutally honest sign. Around the corner was another beggar holding another sign that says "Why lie, its for beer!"
I know they are just keeping it honest but seriously, begging for beer? I believe if they use their talents to be greeting card makers for Hallmark, they can go far with their talents! Just like how they made me laugh, I know they can make a lot of people laugh if they use their talents in the proper way.
In life, there are many things you cannot control like natural disasters, accidents, your kids growing faster than you and the endings of a “telenovela” but there are things that you can control like your decision not to beg (for beer) and live a better life, your decision to care, your decision to forgive, your decision to share and your decision to love.
Living a wonderful life depends on your decision.
As another year begins, lets start it right by being nice to each other and stop asking the "what ifs" rather lets wonder on "what would be" for a change.
Think about the good things. If you will be doing something this New Year and you know, in your heart, that you will be successful when you do it, don’t wait... do it!
Believe that we are all gifted to have a beautiful life. When you believe this, whatever the outcome of what we do, we will always find the reason why success or failure happened to us and always remember that it is always for our own good.
I wish everyone a fantastic New Year and may our Lord bless you abundantly with joy, prosperity, love, peace and harmony.
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!
God is the greatest!
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Show All » 2011/12 » Till Debt Do You Part
Friday, December 23, 2011Till Debt Do You Part
Ho Ho Ho! By now, I'm sure everybody is all set for Christmas!
Back in the Philippines, I remember starting the day by attending "Simbang gabi" (this is a holy mass celebrated at 4am for 9 days before Christmas eve) and eating the all-time Christmas favorite "puto bumbong and bibinka" (sweet sticky rice and rice cake).
In this season of giving, a lot of folks delight in the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping. With all these hype, Christmas has become too commercialized that we have forgotten the true meaning of Christmas - LOVE.
I heard on the radio that December is the most stressful month of the year. Just thinking about the traffic and the crowded malls, whew! The irony is people still go to malls to shop for the reason that it relieves their stress.
I have read an article once saying that shopping is therapeutic so treat yourself whenever you get the chance. The things you shop can be a source of self-definition. Nothing feels better than coming home with something new at the end of a hard day. If you can't find a use for what you've bought, you can always add it to your gift closet, right?
I don't know if the author was trying to be sarcastic but really?
I have nothing against people who like shopping and most especially giving. What I'm against is the excessive us of credit when shopping.
People fall into debt for a variety of reasons - buying items for others out guilt, buying out of envy, buying to maintain an appearance, buying because others have it; the list goes on and on.
People define their financial status on how much stuff they have, rather than how much money they actually have. Since this is the basis, people clutter their house with stuff they don't need. Thanks to commercialism and their tactics to make you buy more, people go for it.
Just to give you an example. Did you know that our society today have been brainwashed into actually evaluating a purchase based on how much the payment is, rather than how much the product really is. I don't know if you noticed this but when is the last time you heard a car commercial or a poster add that told you how much the car was? They often say something like this, "You can own this car for $0 down and $199 a month!"
When you get lured by these traps, financial freedom is nearly impossible. In reality, the process in achieving financial freedom is easy. The basic rule is if you don't actually have the money, don't spend it.
But do you have the discipline to do a wise decision?
Having debt is not bad. It only becomes a bad when you indulge yourself and burying yourself into it. You have to manage your debt wisely. If not, you will end up being the slave of your debt. Scripture says, "The borrower becomes the lenders slave." (Proverbs 33:7b)
Do you want to be the "Lenders slave"? If you want to be in debt forever, just follow these super fun steps below. If you are doing these things, stop it because if you don't do something drastically about it, you are on your way to your financial doom.
1) Finance everything
Buying furniture? Finance it! Buying a phone? Finance it! Buying a computer? Finance it! Accumulate as many payments as you can, because the more payments you have, the less disposable income you'll have to use for investing. Live for the now. If you can get a loan or buy something on credit, do it.
When your credit card statement arrives by mail, pay only the minimum payment required. That should do it. Now go have fun!
2) Stop educating yourself about money
Don't waste your time and money talking to financial gurus. Financial advisors tend to recommend that you "save up" for things you want. That's impractical if you want things right now.
Forget about handling your finances with a faith perspective because it takes a lot of effort, time and discipline to do it. As a matter of fact, stop reading this blog and don't forward it to anybody.
Don't spend time reading books about finances.
Financial literacy is for advisors only. Don't waste your brain cells in digesting all these non-sense. You are better off having party with friends.
3) Be obsessed with what people will tell you
People love to look good. Who doesn't want to drive a new car all the time? Car models don't change much year to year, but you can't put a price on that new car smell. Ideally, you should be sporting a new ride every two or three years and financing it (of course!) for the longest term possible. If you do this for long enough, you may end up owing more than your car is even worth. That's okay - you'll look great doing it!
Think about this, why have smaller houses, when you can afford the 40-year mortgage payments on a bigger one? If you're lucky, the market will rise, giving you some extra equity to spend!
Also, always wear expensive and branded clothing, have the latest gadgets, and get the smartest cellphone. These are the key to make an impression.
Always think of what others will say. After all, first impression lasts. To keep yourself in debt, continue to care about how other people think about you.
4) Pay Retail for Everything
Don't negotiate price, because that's embarrassing. Rather than worrying about saving a dollar here and there, just do what is most convenient. Coupons, shopping around, researching that internet and waiting for things to go on sale are such a pain - and why bother for only a few dollars? After all, time is money!
When shopping, you must have a certain name brand. Never buy used, and never shop anywhere but high end malls and boutiques. If you want outdated styles, go shopping in outlets but I'm sure you don't want that, do you?
Don't be cheap. If you don't have money to pay for the good stuff, borrow money for it.
5) Don't think about retirement
We are all too young to think about retirement, right? Enjoy life today! What if you die tomorrow, then you'll never have the chance to enjoy what you have. Forget about having an emergency fund. Insurance, you've got better things to do with your money than buy life insurance. Don't worry because God will take care of you! God will provide!
Instead of saving up for retirement, pull out your credit card and go somewhere nice. There's nothing better than getting away from it all, and you totally deserve it! After all, you want to be able to brag about this for years to come.
Life is too short, enjoy! Think about yourself and yourself alone. When you die, people will be impressed how you live your life to the fullest. The only problem would be, especially if you do not have life insurance, will they have the money to bury you properly?
The basic rule - borrow money as much as you can and spend it! Have fun!
How I wish I could end my blog this way but I can't...
First of all, I'm not saying don't buy a new car, or don't take a vacation, stop having fun or don't shop. You can do these things and yet live a simple life. This is the key to avoid being in debt – live simple.
Just to warn you, never measure the simplicity of a person based on what he has. For example, you can never accuse a man for not being simple because he drives a Volvo. The man behind the wheel maybe as rich as Bill Gates that he can drive a 24k gold Ferrari but he prefers to drive a Volvo.
Get the point? I do apologize for the sarcastic tone of this post, but the point should be clear.
Does any of this strike a chord with you? If it does, believe me, I am not spared. I am simply trying to help everyone see what kind of path we are leading if we don't re-evaluate our financial situation.
You can have a million excuses for why you are broke, but everyone has excuses. Rise above those excuses and take hold of your finances.
How do we rise up to these excuses?
1) Avoid Debt
Pay off all your credit card charges every month to avoid paying high-interest fees. Use only cash for one week. I know this is not a good idea especially if you are earning points with your credit card, but if you are buried in debt, forget about the points. Most people have no idea how much they're really spending until they see the actual cash leaving their hands at a store. Have a budget once a week. For example, your spending money is $300 per week and once that money is gone, stop spending.
2) Be Financially Literate
"Go to the ant, O sluggard, observe her ways and be wise..." (Proverbs 6:6)
Do you know why people choose to be financially illiterate? The first being that they don't have time to learn about money, and the second being a plain disinterest in money matters. Like all new things, becoming financially literate takes discipline. You may not like it, but it's a necessary skill if you don't want to be living paycheck to paycheck.
Devote some time each day to reading about money. If you think that its time consuming, get help from a licensed advisor. In my case, as a licensed advisor myself, I give these free services to my clients or friends.
Don't be scared to attend financial investment seminars. There are a lot of seminars designed for beginners so you won't feel overwhelmed by the information presented.
Try to limit yourself from listening to friends who think they know what to do. Get professional help. Think about this, if you want to know something about cooking, would you listen to the advice of a mechanic?
Some people think they have it all planned. Here's example. I have known people who prefer putting their money on paying off their houses but they're not saving, and so they have this feeling that they're quite wealthy when they have a fully paid house. In reality, unless they're willing to monetize the equity in the house by selling it and moving down dramatically they're not going to be able to take that money out and do anything with it. Considering that fact that real estate investments are still volatile, you may even lose more money in the end. Getting a professional to help you will give you a more balanced approach.
3) Do not listen to other people's opinion
I find it sad for people who conform to the opinion of others. They are not in control of their future. What is important for them is how they will please others.
Learn not to be persuaded or dissuaded by the opinions of other people.
Get guidance from parents, teachers, leaders, mentors but the decision is still up to you. Never let others decide for you. This is one of the many reasons why many people are in debt.
4) Bargain, Coupons and Sale
Why pay for retail when you can get something at a discounted price.
But before going crazy on these bargain sale items, do you really need them or you just want them because it is on sale?
Not knowing the difference can cost you a lot. This is fairly self-explanatory, and differs for each person.
The impulse buy is the worst kind of buy. Pay attention to your spending habits.
5) Plan for your retirement
You set goals for many other things in life, and your money should be no different. You need to know where you're going and have a plan to get there.
It can be as simple as this scripture verse, "On the first day of every week each one of you is to put aside and save, as he may prosper, so that no collections be made when I come." (1 Corinthians 16:2)
It's interesting to watch people, even people with high incomes, and how much they're struggling to set aside money for the future. It's almost crazy!
The individual responsibility still has to be there.
People have asked me, how do I save? People at different stages in their life should save differently. People save differently from another. My style of saving may not apply to you. In my case, I do my savings using several investment tools and at the same time protecting myself just in case something happens to me.
Depending on your time line and your goals and what you have and what you are entitled to, the approach varies. For example, Canada offers a very good medical plan for seniors. They also provide good pension plans compared to other countries. Some people here ignore their retirement planning because these benefits. They say, "I'm going to retire in the Philippines anyway, my pension should be enough and when I get sick, I'll just go back to Canada for my medical." This is just an example and like I said, everybody have different plans.
I may be able to show you the four areas of retirement planning in the future but not on this blog.
Anyway, I have to stop right here. By far, this is the longest blog I ever wrote. I intentionally wrote this long because this is my Christmas gift for you.
You see, it's not all about the expensive gifts. It's the time and effort that you put in order to bless other people. To make others laugh, to give hope to others, to share your love and blessings for me that is more meaningful than any other material things.
I wish you all a debt free life and have a very blessed Christmas!
God is the greatest!
I encourage everyone to help in one way or another, the victims of the recent typhoon in the Philippines. They need our help.
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Show All » 2011/11 » God Given Resources
Tuesday, December 13, 2011God Given Resources
During Black Friday, my wife and I drove to the US to pick up our son at the airport. Many of our friends warned us about the traffic especially when crossing the US-Canadian border. Based on experience, border traffic during Black Fridays is expected to be two to three hours wait time. That day we only waited five minutes. Thank God!
For those of you who are not familiar with "Black Friday", this is the day after Thanksgiving Day in the US. This is similar to Boxing Day in Canada. In the Philippines we could call these days Super "Tiangge" Day. Don't ask me where they got these names because that was also my question when I first heard about it. As far as I know you get a black eye on Black Fridays and you get boxed out by other shoppers during Boxing Day, literally.
Do you want to know how crazy people get during these days?
On Thanksgiving night, people would set up tents outside the mall and they would camp overnight to make sure they will be the first one to enter the mall so they could get the best deals. Others would line up for hours and hours outside the parking lot on a cold winter night. You can't really blame them because if you are really looking for very, very good deals, this is the day to go shopping.
Unfortunately, this craziness only runs for a day or two and the supplies for most of the good deals are limited.
It's no surprise why people have been so "in" into this craziness. It's all about the "good deals." Commercialism has driven us to buy, buy and buy. The danger in commercialism is that your happiness depends on what you can have. The bigger the flat screen TV, the happier you can be. The more the merrier. Shop as if there is no tomorrow!
I have nothing against people who like shopping. I like shopping. But will you be as happy at the time you were buying compared to the time you are paying for it? I'm sure you do if you are paying in cash but credit cards? This is a great picture of why people are deeply in debt. They though the credit card is a resource that doesn't dry up. (...this will be a great topic for my next blog)
Advertising taught us that beauty, health and happiness can be bought at a price. We have forgotten that the best things in life are free like love and great relationships. You invest on them but you can't buy them.
Instead of using up your material resources to make you happy, learn to use your God given resources.
What are those?
If material things drain our material resources, spiritual gifts fills us up. The best thing about these gifts is that they are given to us for free. Scripture says, "Follow the way of love and eagerly desire gifts of the Spirit..." (1 Corinthians 14:1)
I'm not telling you to stop shopping. Like I said, I like going shopping especially with my wife. What I'm saying is don't let the material things be the focal point of your happiness.
For example, when I shop with my wife, instead of putting my attention on the things I want to buy, I focus my attention on the fun time we spend together during shopping. For me this is priceless.
I know most of the husbands are impatient when shopping with their wife. In my case, I keep my faith in her that she will spend wisely (buying the things she only need) and that keeps me at peace. There are times when she would buy the things she wants, I really don't mind. What I'm after is enjoying the time with her. When I see her happy, that's enough for me. Patience, trust and love spring out from that experience. Just like the quote from a bumper sticker I read when I was driving - the secret of a happy life is a happy wife.
In the past, before she can buy anything, she would hear a lot of side comments from me that she would end up not buying anything. I would look more on the price tag rather than the value of the things she buys. In reality, I was afraid that our material resource would drain out if she keeps on buying stuff which I think we don't need. I am scared on what will happen tomorrow when these resources are gone.
I used to be very anxious about our future. Who will supply our material needs? Since it is secular need, I thought that I should rely on my own. I thought I can only ask God for my spiritual needs. I thought that if I ask God about my social needs, I am materialistic.
Later on I found out that I was dead wrong about this.
God looks after both our social and spiritual needs. Jesus himself performed a miracle to meet a social need.
In all the Gospels, there were 34 recorded miracles of Jesus. Most of the miracles were healings; there was multiplication of the bread, the miraculous catch and raising the dead. Of all the miracles, there was one miracle that was a bit unusual (for me). This was done during the Wedding at Cana.
If you notice, most of the miracles were done to meet the physical and spiritual need of people. During the Wedding at Cana, there was no physical need or spiritual need. Running out of wine during a party for me was a social need.
Think about it, who cares if a party ran out of wine? It's time to go home right?
But Jesus cares. He did not ignore this request. He did not only ask to fill the jars to the brim which is approximately 20 to 30 gallons per jar, He made it to be the best wine.
God looks after our social needs.
Many people ignore this truth that they rely only to themselves. When this happens, your decision is often based on the limited capability of your own strength and resources. Because of these limitations, fear will prevent you to go beyond on what you are gifted to do.
Jesus said, "Cast all your burdens upon me..." I believe this includes our material concerns. It is not only about our spiritual needs, we can ask Him anything.
When you acknowledge your material resource coming from God, you can now call this resource - God given.
Sometimes we already have these resources or gifts but we do not use it. How can this happen?
I'm a bit of a handyman in the house. There are times when I need to tighten some screws in the house. Out of convenience, there are times when I would just go to the kitchen and use the knife to tighten screws. It would take me minutes to do the work where in fact if I get the screw driver, which I have, it would only take me 10 seconds to do the task.
This is the same thing whenever we do not use the gifts God gave us. Out of convenience, we do things our way. This is one of the reasons why we put so much effort on so many things. We rely on the tools and resources we think will work where in reality, our God has already equipped us to deal with whatever we are facing but we don't use it.
Let me give another example on why we do not use these resources.
Imagine that you have a friend who lives in the streets. Out of compassion, you gave him a house so he can have a warm shelter during the cold wintery nights. After a month, you found out that he is still sleeping on the streets. You ask him why he does not live in the house. He answers, because I am not worthy of the gift.
For me, receiving a gift is something that we should all be thankful for. If you think you are not worthy to receive such a gift, call it grace.
When you define a gift as a grace, you will no longer think about your unworthiness. Jesus died on the cross for us even though we were unworthy. This is grace.
Gifts and resources are given to us by God to use them not to hide them.
I have one last example.
Imagine a friend who lives in a big house with nice cars. Even though he already has all these things, because he works hard for his future, you reward him with another house and a matching brand new car. If you think about it, does he deserve to be given a new car and another house? Not really.
But our God works exactly this way. He is generous to all even though you already have plenty. "For to everyone who has, more shall be given, and he will have an abundance." (Matthew 25:29a)
One must be aware that when you are blessed more, that only means that you have to share more. "From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more." (Luke 12:48b)
Remember, if God can bless you so much, I hope not, He can also take it away.
We have to use our resources based on Gods plans in our lives.
If you are wondering why God is blessing you so much, ask and reflect. Maybe he wants you to do something.
If you start worrying if the blessings would stay in your life, just remember to always focus on the giver not the gifts. When you know that God is always there for you, you will never have to worry.
"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary." (Isaiah 40:28-31)
When you feel abandoned and left alone, tap to the main source of all blessings. This can be done through constant prayer.
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." (Philippians 4:6)
Wherever you are and whatever we do, pray unceasingly.
Fear can be overcome by a simple prayer.
Sickness can be healed by prayer.
Scarcity can be filled by prayer.
Financial need can be solved by prayer.
Miracles happen through prayer!
This is how we tap these God given resources - through prayer.
God is the greatest!
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Show All » 2011/11 » Go Beyond
Thursday, November 24, 2011Go Beyond
It feels good when people recognize our work and efforts. I for one like to be appreciated for the things I did. When my hard work is ignored I sometimes get grumpy and say "Kahit man lang thank you wala? (A simple thank you would have been enough)." Then I would add, "You will never expect any help from me again! I will tell my friends and the whole world that you are blah blah blah..." Of course, I only say these words to myself.
But everything changed when I began to understand the meaning of the words of Jesus in the scriptures when He said, "Which of you, having a slave plowing or tending sheep, will say to him when he has come in from the field, 'Come immediately and sit down to eat'? But will he not say to him, 'Prepare something for me to eat, and properly clothe yourself and serve me while I eat and drink; and afterward you may eat and drink'? He does not thank the slave because he did the things which were commanded, does he? So you too, when you do all the things which are commanded you, say, 'We are unworthy slaves; we have done only that which we ought to have done.'" (Luke 17:7-10)
When I read this the first time, the first thing that popped out of my mind was this master is cruel. Isn't it that to be a leader you have to be a servant yourself? What is wrong in recognizing one's work and rewarding them for the efforts they put in? But as I ponder on these words - "we have done only that which we ought to have done", the master may not be cruel after all.
Since I started serving God through a community, I finally understood why it's okay when no one recognizes my work. For me, it is everybody's responsibility to make our world a better place. I feel that whenever I do something for the good of mankind, I'm just doing what I'm supposed to do.
In everything you do, you should always be your best and beyond. Remember, when you do the things which are commanded you, you have done only that which you ought to have done. One of the things that we ought to do is to make our world a better place.
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." (John 3:16)
If God didn't want to make our world a better place, he could have sent his third class angels or anybody. But God did not compromise. He wanted to be sure that His message of love for us will sink into our hearts and who would be the best person to represent the father than the son. Jesus gave us the word of God through the scriptures to show our father's great love for us and by this love, we will have a better life and a better place to live in.
If this is God's plan for us, I believe it is our responsibility to continue what Jesus has started and when we execute God's plan, we should always go above and beyond our best.
Just a heads up, there will be times when people might misinterpret what you are trying to do. Just remember, whatever you are doing, do not let other people bring you down by their rubbish criticisms. Regardless of their comments, whether they like what you did or not, just remember that you cannot please everybody. Ignore the negative things that have been said about your work. Never be discouraged because your finish product should be enough to encourage you to do more.
Don't be sad when people forget to thank you or recognize your work. Your feeling of sadness will only bring your down. When you focus on this feeling, you will begin to think how ungrateful they are. When you do that, guess what, their ungratefulness will take over you.
Like the attitude of the slave, don't feel bad even though others do not notice the extra mile you did because God sees everything. Rest assured that God will move the universe to make sure that your efforts will be rewarded one way or another.
What holds a person to go beyond?
Here is a story from the bible where Peter tried to walk on water.
"And in the fourth watch of the night He came to them, walking on the sea. When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid." Peter said to Him, "Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water." And He said, "Come!" And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" (Matthew 14:25-31)
Whenever I read this story, I have always focused on the weakness of Peter. I assumed that he started to sink because he became frightened, he doubted, he did not do his best, he turned his eyes away from Jesus, he focused on the water, he focused on the darkness, he focused on the wind... he did not go beyond!
Regardless of Peter's weakness, one cannot deny that he did walk on water.
When I read the lives of the apostles, I think there are other apostles who are more qualified (compared to Peter, in my opinion) to take the challenge of walking on water. An example would be apostles Andrew and John.
Andrew was first a disciple of John the Baptist. He was first a follower of John the Baptist and became the first apostle of Jesus. Andrew brought his brother, Peter, to Christ.
John the son of Zebedee, like Andrew, was first a disciple of John the Baptist and later one of the twelve apostles of Jesus.
When you think about it, Andrew and John should have more confidence to ask Jesus, "Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water." After all, they have been disciples John the Baptist before they became Disciples of Christ. They have served longer and probably have seen more miracles than Peter.
But what prevented them and the other apostles to do what they were supposed to do?
What separated Peter from the rest of the apostles?
Peter got out of the boat.
When Jesus told Peter to "Come," Peter did not think twice. He immediately got out of the boat.
I find this very peculiar most especially from Peter. Peter is a seasoned fisherman. If there was anybody in the boat who knew that it is impossible to walk in water, it is Peter. He doesn't need facts to prove it, he knew. But because Jesus called him to walk on water, he got out of the boat. He knew that with Jesus he can do anything, he can go beyond what he is capable of doing.
This is our problem, we focus on our fear. We fear of being ridiculed, laughed at, we fear failing, we fear sinking. We think of what other people will think about us. If you make it, they praise. If you sink, they prey instead of pray.
The scripture tells us to be strong and let our hearts take courage. Remember, the Lord is with us - do not be afraid.
The first step is to get out of the boat. Get out of our comfort zone.
Anybody can go beyond especially when you know that God is with you. When God is with you, your ordinary life becomes extraordinary!
Just imagine yours truly; I admit I am not good in my English. I failed my English class twice in college. Until now, I'm struggling with my grammar. There are times when I still call my "niece" my "nephew." It took me eight versions and two years to write a book. Can you imagine the confidence I needed to present what I wrote to my editors?
While writing my book, I was clouded with fear and doubted my capabilities. The only thing that held me to finish my book is God. God gave me people to build my confidence. In those two years, I realized that it's not what I can do that matters, it's what God is doing to me that matters. That is enough for me to believe that I can do it!
You do not have to be special to be somebody; all you have to do is to get out of the boat.
There was a time when I was complacent with everything I do. My favorite words were, "pwede na yan" (that's good enough). That was my comfort zone.
I appreciated excellence now and then, but because of that attitude, I seldom feel any desire to strive for it. I feel that every time I do my very best, I got ridiculed for it. My friends would say to me, "Pinapahirapan mo lang ang buhay mo!" (you are just making your life harder!).
So how is this a problem? Well for one thing, being complacent stifles creativity. Instead of venturing out to try new things, you stick to what everyone else is doing.
When you think about it, it was easier for apostles to stay on the boat. They probably said to themselves, why bother walking on water? After all, Jesus is coming to save us. We don't need to go to him.
Remember, simple people do good things. Great people do good things, trust God and beyond.
Do not be afraid to push the boundaries between what you think you can do and what you think you cannot do. Your goals and God given dreams should go beyond what you can do. Your dream has to be so big that when you reach that point that you cannot do it by your own, God comes in.
Finally, never judge a person if they are doing their best or not. Their best may not be you're best based on your standards. You cannot measure other persons best because of your standards. Remember, Gods standard is very different from ours so we cannot judge anybody's best. What may be your best may be another person's worst.
One last thing, when you are already walking on water, do your best to stay afloat. All you have to do is to focus on God's and never doubt on His love and goodness. This is going beyond.
If you start to sink, don't worry. Just like Peter, all you have to do is cry out and say, "Lord, save me!"
God is the greatest!
Posted By: Allen Espejo @ 1:11:08 AM
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Show All » 2011/10 » Love Yourself
Wednesday, November 09, 2011Love Youself
I promised my 18 year old son Bon that I will drop him off to school every Monday. On Sunday evenings, I would notice that he goes to bed a bit later than his usual time. He knows he doesn't have to rush every Monday morning to catch the bus. He knows he has this extra time in the morning to relax. He knows the he does not have to worry about anything because of my promise.
Because of that, I would be the one rushing in the morning to make sure that he arrives in school on time no matter how late he wakes up.
There are times during the week where he would wake up late (I sense that he wakes up late on purpose) and he would rush around complaining that he won't be able to eat his breakfast because he needs to hurry so he can catch the train or bus. As the father, I would feel bad that he would not eat the breakfast his mom prepared for him. When this happens, I would feel bad for him and I will have this guilt feeling that I would tell him to eat his breakfast and I'll take him to school.
You should see his face flashing his big smile then he goes back to his room to watch television before eating his breakfast.
I'm glad this doesn't happen all the time. There are times when I would tell him, "When I was your age, I never asked my dad to drop me off to school." But now I regret why I didn't?
I guess my dad would not hesitate to think twice to drop me off too. The problem was, as far as I can remember, I never asked.
For me, I believe this is the kind of Father we have in heaven and more. All we need to do is ask. Scripture says, "All things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive." (Matthew 21:22)
When you know that you are loved, blessings will come your way.
This is why I don't understand why a lot of people think the world hates them. I guess they hate the world so much which causes them to think that the world also hates them.
When you allow yourself to love the world, the world will respond back to that love and the whole world will love you in return. When you feel loved, this is loving yourself. It is not conceited love or selfish love. It is a love coming from the outside into you.
I have experienced this kind of love by following this scriptural verse, "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might." (Deuteronomy 6:5)
Jesus says in the scriptures, "This is the great and foremost commandment." (Matthew 22:38)
But how can you love yourself when the scripture clearly commands us to love God with all our heart, soul and strength?
Based on my experience, when you love God with all your heart, soul and strength you are loving yourself.
Love God with all your heart.
When I was twelve years old, I was an active member of the church choir and at the same time I was also an altar boy. That was the first time I experience the joy of serving God through the church. Of course there are other motivating factors like free "pandesal" (Filipino bread) and Spanish bread but it was the service that excites me.
I became popular with church people not because I am cute (of course that's given as per my mom), it is not because our house is right beside the church, it's probably because people saw my efforts and dedication every time I serve the church.
I made a lot of new friends both in and out of the church. Unfortunately, I did not choose my new friends wisely. Little by little, I drifted away from my church friends and began to hang out with bad company. Peer pressure was the game and I started to learn different vices and "bad habitsesses" (I invented this word – it's a super duper plural version for bad habits).
I thought I was okay because I was having lots of fun and good times. I thought that my new friends and the things that I do was more fun than serving the church. I thought life was more fun without God in the picture. But I was dead wrong!
This cycle happened several times in my life. Every time I go back to serve God through our church, life becomes easy and peaceful. But whenever I go on my own way, life becomes uneasy, full of worries and there is so much confusion.
How can one say "I love myself" when they are confused, worried and uneasy?
Here is what I found out when you love God first - when you love God with all your heart, His love will flow through you and when God's love flows through you, you can be sure that God will use you to be His instrument to love others.
I never understood what it means when you say love God with all your heart until I learned to pass that love to others. When I decided to serve God by loving others, it was never about gaining something. I started loving others because of the love and goodness I received from God.
When you have something really good happening in your life, would you keep that for yourself or you will go out in the world and share the joy and happiness you have with others?
Remember, happiness and joy is doubled when you share it with others.
The second greatest commandment is to "love your neighbor as yourself." (Mark 12:31)
You are not obeying the first and greatest commandment if you are not doing the second. For me, doing the second commandment is the best expression of loving God with all your heart.
"Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." (Matthew 25:40 NIV)
Share the love and spread the goodness. Just like an old song goes, "Love is something that you give it away... it's just like a magic penny hold it tight and you won't get any, share it lend it give it away and it comes right back to you."
Love God with all your soul.
When you love God with all your soul; your whole spiritual being, God will give you the wisdom to properly discern all your decisions in life.
One of the hardest things to decide on is when you are given the option to choose between the good and what you think is good.
Can I give you another sharing? I guess you have no choice so here it goes…
In one of the communities I serve, they ask me to be a part of a website development project. When we were looking for a company to host the website, our developer suggested a company who has a very good promotion going on. The promotion could save the community some money in the long run and at the same time, they have added features that are really good. When I researched the company, I found out that this hosting company runs provocative commercials every Super Bowl games. I have nothing against their commercials or how they do their advertising but my discernment of not choosing the company weighs more than the practical reasons for using them. For practical reasons, we think it is economically good to use them but is it really wise to use them for this kind of project?
The key ingredient when we decide to love God with all our soul is constant prayers.
People today are so busy that they neglect this very important aspect in our lives. We must be never too busy not to pray. We cannot afford not to pray if we are to do God's will effectively and fruitfully. Many times we would think we are too busy that we will spend less time in prayer. This is a major mistake. The more you do, the more you have to pray. The more you pray the more easy life gets. The more easy life gets, the more you will be loving yourself.
Love God with all your strength.
Finally, you shall love the Lord with all your strength. This is your whole physical being.
One of the most common words you hear from people nowadays is the word "stress." People get stressed easily. If they can't handle stress, they become depress.
First and foremost, why do people get stressed?
Just like depression, most people get stressed because they are just dissatisfied with what they have, with what they do and most especially with their lives.
People put so much effort on things that are supposed to be simple. When they stress themselves, they over react sometimes that their decisions are clouded which leads them to make wrong decisions. When this happens, depression takes over them.
I don't know why but why is it that whenever I place God out of the picture, in whatever I do, there is no way for me to go but to be stressed.
When I pray before I do anything, I feel more confident with myself because I know, God is with me and that stretches my ability to work and not to be stressed. Because I know, when God is with me, nothing can go wrong. This simply eliminates any stress that I feel. When I know God is in control, I relax.
When you get burned out and stressed, stop and pause for a moment. Maybe you are too focused on the work and not the reason why you do the work. If your reason for doing a work is love, you can never get tired.
In summary, love God first and you will begin to love yourself.
Loving Yourself is a Lifestyle
"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body." (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
To love your self is to live a healthy lifestyle.
Staying healthy does not only mean that you need to exercise and eat healthy foods that make your body healthy and clean. You also have to watch out what comes out of your body - the words you say and the actions you do.
When you love yourself, you can easily spread that love to the world! Not selfish love but a giving love.
The more love you give the more love will be returned to you.
God is the greatest!
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Show All » 2011/10 » What Makes you Happy
Thursday, October 20, 2011What Makes You Happy?
Have you ever asked yourself this question - what makes you happy?
Is it the dream car that you always want to drive?
Is it living in a mansion by the beach?
Is it the most extravagant trip around the world?
Or is it the Hermes bag that you will be buying together with Jinky Paquiao?
Once upon a time I have dreamed of having all the things I want. I thought I would be happy once I have them all. Later on, I realized that some of the things I want were not really what I wanted. And if I have them today, I'm not sure if they are the things that will make me happy.
For example, a few years ago when I was still a teenager (two decades is only a few years, right?), I always wanted to have a private jet and a helicopter (yes, I did). If I have a jet and a helicopter, I will no longer deal with the brutal traffic in Manila. I can go wherever I want and as fast as I want. I will have my own pilot and stewardess serving me wine while I fly over the traffic congested areas of Manila.
Today, I realize that that dream will only give me frustrations. First, I have to build a runaway for my garage and second when I arrive at my destination, where will I park?
Anyways, I'm sure we all have dreams in our life. Some of us have big dreams while others have small dreams. Whether big or small, dreams can motivate and inspire which could lead us to a happy life. I believe that life will not be as fun and challenging without dreams. There is happiness every time a dream is fulfilled. However, what if your dream never happens?
As I sat in our living room watching television, a commercial for an antidepressant drug flashed across the TV screen. It showed a lady looking sad, alone on an open field staring at the flowers feeling hopeless and thinking that all her once upon a time dreams will never be fulfilled.
After showing a pill and some graphics and wordings on what the drug can do, she appeared again, looking happier.
I paused for a while and asked myself... hmm, does it really work that way? I take the happy pill then suddenly HORAAY! I'm happy!
In fairness to all anti-depressant manufacturers, the drug probably worked instantly. But what happens when the happiness effect of the drug wears out? Whatever they are advertising, it sounds to me that it's not different from taking narcotic drugs. You take a pill and you get happy. When it wears out, just take another and another and another until one day you find yourself hooked on the stuff which eventually will hurt you more rather than heal you.
Seriously, if drugs are the solution, are these drug makers saying that sadness, or depression or anxiety is a treatable disease like a common cold?
I'm not saying that depression is not real or should be taken lightly. I have seen people devastated by this ailment and for most cases, they require medical attention. The drug is a temporary relief for depression but it is never the solution.
Also, what you think about your depression may not be depression after all. It's depressing just to think about depression. (Just writing about it is already depressing!)
I think the word depression has been overly used in our society. Most people think that they are depressed where in reality they are just dissatisfied. Depression takes over you when you are overwhelmed by your dissatisfaction in life.
How do you avoid this from happening?
People today set the bar so high and they are expecting treasures that they are not willing to work for. I know people whose unbearable source of their depression is their weight, their figure, their lack of advancement in the workplace, their inability to find the perfect mate, their inability to have this and that. To these people, unhappiness is a condition, an intolerable state of affairs. If drugs could help, drugs are taken.
Taking drugs is not going to change your fundamental problem - wanting what you cannot have. You keep on looking for self-worth in the mirror trying to work on top of work and still wondering why are you not successful – one of the reasons why most people think that they are failures is because they were never satisfied. They forgot to thank God for their failures because they discovered something that does not work!
I knew. I had done all that.
In my book I wrote about the time I would work straight for 72 hours without sleep. I piled on accomplishments. I earned money but it was empty money. There was no satisfaction. Whatever I gain was all for myself and myself alone.
Having more will only keep you from wanting more. And if you always want more - to be richer, more beautiful, to be well known for yourself and yourself alone - you are missing the big picture, and I can tell you from my experience, happiness will never come. There is no fulfillment because you will always end up wanting more. Greediness can easily overcome you.
Ask yourself, what fuels you to want more?
Is it just about keeping up with the Jones? Is life all about competition? Will it make you happy if you have more than anybody else? Is your happiness based on the better things you have than your neighbors?
If your reason for having more is for yourself and yourself alone and to be popular to the eyes of others, that kind of life can be very stressful and not to mention, empty. Stressing yourself for empty reasons will only kill your happiness in life, so why do you do it?
If your reason for having more in life is for you to be able to share and help more people and trying to make this world a better place, then it's a different story. Why? There is always fulfillment when you give to others. Don't get me wrong, acquiring riches so you could give more is very stressful but in a good way. When there is fulfillment, even though stressful, there is no depression only satisfaction, only happiness.
You will experience double happiness because you shared!
In our experience, when my wife and I decided to give whatever we can to help other people, our life did not become easy. It became more stressful. When we were in the Philippines, we try to give as much as we can even though we are financially incapable of doing so. We shared our time, talent and treasure to people that we don't even know. We never complained, we just gave and it became our source of joy.
When I wrote my book, it took me two years to finish it. I write blogs twice every month. Sometimes I feel the pressure of finishing my blog on time but after finishing it, there is fulfillment. I give what I can give by writing these blogs without expecting anything in return. I think this is what makes it different. This is why I will keep on writing blogs no matter what because I decided to give. This is my way of making our world a better place, I hope. For some people it is stressful, but for me it is fulfillment. It gives my simple life satisfaction and happiness!
Being satisfied to where you are right now is the key to have a happy life. A satisfied person knows, even though they are at the lowest point in their lives, they have a God who is there for them and they know that the best is yet to come and that's the only thing that matters.
In your journey to fulfill your goals, if you don't succeed at first, try again. If you don't succeed in the second try, try again and again and again until you hit your mark.
When you try again, do not commit the same mistakes you are doing or else you end up going in circles. Remember, when you fail, you are given the privilege to know the things that do not work so don't make the same mistakes again. When you try again, try using a different approach. That's probably the only thing you need to do to turn your failure a success.
Don't try to copy others. Steve Jobs once said "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life."
Remember, looking at the blessings someone else enjoys can cause envy and discontent.
People who are discontent make life difficult for the people around them. Nothing satisfies them but the desires triggered by envy - the need to have what someone else has or to be like someone else.
People who are discontent can stir up negative emotions and disrupt other people's lives and worst, their own lives. One of the worst things that can happen to a person who lives a discontented life is they end up saying words that they should not be saying. They start to think of thoughts that they should not be thinking.
Discontent selfishly desires something you do not have, instead of trusting God's will and finding satisfaction and being grateful in the blessings you do have.
"In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
Gratefulness is the secret to live a happy life.
Thankfulness helps us to look outward and appreciate what we have. It changes our focus from desires to satisfaction, from depression to happiness. A grateful heart has little room for grumbling or complaining.
From my blogs, I wrote about being thankful to the good relationships we have with our true friends, our love ones and most especially to God. These blessings should be more than enough to give us contentment.
We are all invited to a life with God - a life worth living. Gratitude makes us satisfied, or contented because it helps us focus on what we have and appreciate our blessings. We can start with being thankful to our friends, love ones and of course God's love.
God offers unlimited help in every aspect of our lives. As for me, my wife and two sons, God energizes our work and gives us wonderful thoughts to talk about and good times to share. We should never be tired of discovering the unlimited reasons to be grateful as God continues to bless our lives with new friends and surprises.
God is the greatest!
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Show All » 2011/09 » A Perfect World
Tuesday, October 04, 2011A Perfect World
Have you ever dreamed of living in a perfect world?
As I'm writing this blog, my wife and I are onboard a cruise ship sailing in the Mediterranean Sea. This is our first time cruising and based on what we are experiencing; now I have no doubt why many people call it a dream world. Let me tell you why.
Aboard the ship you can sleep as often as you want. When you wake up in the morning, breakfast is ready. You can do the things you want to do whenever you want to do it. After that, you eat again. After eating, you can go to the pool or go to the gym and take the SPA or read a book or watch television as much as you want and after that, you eat. After eating, you go to the top deck and play sports until you sweat out all the fats in your body and then you eat again.
Before sunset, you go to the bow of the ship and you stretch your hands together with a beautiful girl named Rose and you shout, "I'm the king of the world!" (Thanks Jack). After dreaming like your Leonardo de Caprio, you eat again. At the end of the day, you can go and watch the people playing at the casino or watch stage performances or dance and party all night. Of course before going to bed, don't forget to do the most important thing you need to do before you hit the sack.. eat again.
I did not believe in the stories I heard when they say that eating is the only constant thing that you do in a cruise ship until I experience it. It's ridiculous! You eat and eat and eat and eat. No wonder they have great exercise rooms and they have tons of activities while in the cruise to burn those calories!
For some, this may be the kind of perfect world they are looking for.
But, what is really a perfect world?
Is all about having endless food and enjoying endless fun? Is there such a thing as a perfect world?
For someone who lives in a farm, a perfect world may be a good harvest after the planting season.
For a stock broker, a perfect world would probably be a constant gain of 25% to 50% every year.
For a businessman, it's running a business that triples its customers every month.
For a student, a perfect world would be having straight A's in school.
For an employee, a perfect world would be working on a job that you love and having a great employer that pays you well.
Everyone has a different idea on what their perfect world should be. But what it is a perfect world?
Is it a world without problems?
A big question for me if you are living in a world without problems is this - how would you improve your world if you do not have any problems?
If you don't need to improve anything, life can be boring. The Greek philosopher Heraclitus wrote, there is nothing permanent except change. Change happens for the better when we know the problem. We have to be thankful when we have problems because without them we have no reason to improve. A problem can bring out the best in you only if you allow yourself to take charge of the problem and not letting the problem take charge of you.
We all know that one of the eight wonders of the world, the tower of Pisa in Italy became a wonder because of its engineering problems. Without the problem on the foundation, man would never consider it as a wonder as we see it today.
I believe that most of the things that we enjoy today are here because of the problems that were encountered in the past. Without problems, no one would think of improving something or creating something better.
Is it a world without challenges?
For me, life can not be as exciting when you do not encounter any challenges. The challenges that we face everyday are tools which stir our imagination and bring out our creativity. We challenge ourselves every time we put ourselves to our limits. Many say this is what separates the man from the boys. These challenges can bring out the best or the worst in us. Whether you win or lose, at the end of the day, your challenges should make you a better person.
Is it a world of money?
Having all the money in the world can indeed make a difference. But that is not the only thing that can make one's life perfect. You may be able to acquire and do all the things in the world that money can buy but what about the things that money cannot buy like having good health, fantastic relationships and great love.
Money is never the only thing in life. Having all the money does not make your world perfect but it's what you do with your money that allows you to make it perfect.
Imagine, you live in a fully furnished castle equipped with fully automated appliances, a garage full of luxury cars and you have 10 maids and a butler but you are living alone by yourself and you have nobody to enjoy the things you have not even your immediate family because you despise them or simply because they do not love you. I will never dream of living this way. You may be able to pay people to be your friends but that's it.
Is it a world where everything is fun and free?
I remember during my school years when I use to enjoy free lunch with my classmates. That was fun! But it was not perfect.
I remember a song that's entitled "The best things in life are free." I used to believe in that saying until I learned about investing in good memories. It is never free to have a long lasting relationship with someone either a wife or a friend. Whether you invest your time or money, I still believe that you have to put something to keep the relationship fun.
If a perfect world is none of these four questions, then what is really a perfect world?
For me, a perfect world is combination of having all these things like problems, challenges, money, some freebies and it has to be fun. (There may be more to add but these are just the basics that can be used as a foundation for making your perfect world)
Normally, this combination can be found within your family.
A perfect world is a world of love. Regardless of the problems you have, as long as love reigns, you can face any problems. Regardless of your challenges, love can conquer every challenge you face. Regardless of how poor you are as long as there is love within the family, even the simplest things can be enjoyed. Love when shared is free and fun.
There are times when your perfect world that is filled with love will be shattered by situations such as life changing incidents like sickness, a death in the family, by accidents, by natural disasters or worst, by other people. One incident is enough to leave a person devastated.
Just imagine, one day you are living your life to the fullest then you suddenly felt a minor pain in your body then the next day you found out that you have a terminal illness.
I can only describe how difficult that situation may be but I have seen inspiring people who have terminal illnesses and yet, they spend their last moments helping and inspiring other people. I have heard inspiring stories about people who were able to prolong their life regardless of their illnesses because of optimism. But for others who remain bitter after knowing that it is the end of the road, it's a different story.
Never fill your life with regrets. Remember, everything happens for a reason and the promise in the scriptures is that, "God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)
I have heard people say, "What's the use of having all the money in the world if you have this sickness." I challenge these people to share whatever blessings they have. Miracles happen every day. Miracles cannot be bought because that is a grace from God. It is given by God. But maybe, you just need to share your blessings for that miracle to happen following the law of causality.
These are some of the things that can ruin the perfect world that you are living in. However, whatever happens, these events should not stop you in making your world a better place. These things should not stop you in doing the most important things in your life. As long as you are alive, life should go on.
I once read a book that says, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." The same is true on how you perceive your perfect world. If you fill your life with complains, being irritable, bitterness, anger, being judgmental, comparing yourself to another, keeping up with the Jones, you will never find your perfect world. A perfect world exists within you and it is how you will see that world that will make it perfect.
Just like a couple from London that we met at breakfast during our cruise. When I brought this perfect world topic, they started to talk about their grand children. They talked about how they spent their time with them and how they enjoyed every moment with them. Their love for their grand children was their ultimate happiness. Being with them is their perfect world.
For me and my wife, we can't wait to see our two boys again. I have to commend them for being responsible while we are on our vacation. They are one of the reasons why our world is perfect.
As I finish this blog, we still have one more day to go before we end our cruise. Some good times never last but the good times should never end here. There may be some problems and challenges that I have to face when I get back. But at the end of each day, I thank God for everything.
Whatever problems and challenges we face, even during the times of scarcity and sadness, just knowing that there us a God who is with us all the time, this is good enough to make our world a perfect world.
God is the greatest!
Posted By: Allen Espejo @ 2:41:34 PM
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Show All » 2011/09 » Spend Within Your Budget
Monday, September 19, 2011Spend Within Your Budget
When I was writing this blog, my wife and I were preparing ourselves to embark on a long vacation.
It was exciting but at the same time stressful. A lot of last minute preparations are needed to be done. Every day, we prepare a checklist to make sure that we will not forget any task that we need to do.
One of the major tasks is budgeting. We have to know how much we have to have at home and at the same time how much we need to spend during our vacation.
It's was quite challenging because we have our two sons going back to school; we have to give them money for their food and school needs and at the same time our monthly obligations will not wait for us while we were away.
At the end of the day, my wife and I would talk to each other to ask ourselves these two questions.
How much will we spend during our vacation?
How much will we leave for our two boys?
I always believed that if you want to enjoy a vacation, it is important that you spend within your budget. Many people take pleasure in the idea of "enjoy now, pay later." I personally do not recommend that. I have seen people bury themselves in debt during a vacation. They enjoyed spending too much that in the end, they find themselves stuck in a deep hole of debt that they find themselves buried alive. This is more stressful and that is why budgeting is very important.
Budgeting should not happen only when you are planning for vacation. This is most important when you are home.
A friend joked on me by saying, how can I budget if I don't have anything to budget?
It's really simple. For example, if you have P200 pesos, you set apart P100 on food, P50 for your transportation expense and the rest you save up for tomorrow. This is budgeting 101.
The problem with most people whenever they have money in their hands is they do not have any clue what to do with it. This is a good recipe for crazy spending.
The only time you should wonder what to do with your money is when you have excess money. Meaning, you have done all your obligations and you still have left over money. You already paid your bills, your mortgage, your insurance, your other important obligations; you have already given your 10% tithe and invested 20% from your income. Anything left after is what I call excess money.
You have to note that excess money is not part of your emergency fund. This is another thing. If you do not have an emergency fund, I recommend that you have one. Excess money is, well, excess money. Its money that you can use to buy the things you want.
When my wife and I were working as an employee, it was easy for us to see what our excess money is. Since we have minimal monthly expense with a frugal lifestyle, it was simple for us to know whenever we have left over money.
Today, it is quite different for both of us. For example, our work demands us to wear and have something more than the ordinary. It's sad and I hate to say these but there are some people who see what we have instead of who we are. Whether we like it or not, we have to invest on our appearance which has to be included in our budget. What we use to buy with our excess money before is now part of our budget.
When you work on a job, budgeting should not be complicated. If you have a business, then it's a different story. Budgeting should be twice more efficient and detailed to be effective.
"By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established." (Proverbs 24:3)
I believe that every parent of every household should teach their children about money matters and this should not be taken lightly. One of the best things that we can teach our children is how to handle their finances. To bring it to the next level, handle their finances with a faith perspective.
I have seen parents being proud on how they have seen their kids grew to become millionaires but after a while, they end up being buried in debt after a few years. What happened? Living in the fast lane and enjoying the good times has a lot to do with it, I thought.
In my case, was reckless when I was young. I always say to myself, I'm still young and I can earn more! Even though some people, like me have this kind of attitude, I have seen young adults who create a good strategy when making a budget.
The ideal way of doing it requires a detailed outline of your monthly and yearly expenses. Once you have a budget in mind, you can easily control yourself when it comes to spending simply because you have a target in mind. You can easily create a budget based on what you earn.
Be aware though of the budget that you set. You may end up creating an unrealistic budget that your budget compels you to cut your meals that instead of eating three times a day you will only eat once a day. This is suicide. Budgeting is based on earnings not yearnings. This is why when you set a budget, be realistic. Be practical but never sacrifice your health or punishing yourself unnecessarily.
Below is a basic example of a monthly budget sheet:
Monthly Income
1. Salary _________
2. Interest _________
3. Other Income _________
TOTAL INCOME _________
Monthly Expenditures
1. Tithes _________
2. Savings _________
3. Rent/Mortgage _________
4. Food/Clothing _________
5. Utilities _________
6. Insurance _________
TOTAL EXPENDITURES _________
Total Income - Total Expenditures = Excess Money
Money should be allotted according to the need. Both husband and wife should work together to be successful in creating a good budget. Both should learn to spend for the needs then the wants every month.
If your income does not take care of expenses, there must be modifications made either by earning additional income, or by trimming down your expenses.
Scripture says, "Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, I will never desert you, nor will I forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5)
One of the ways to avoid debt traps is to be contented in whatever you have whatever your status in life is. Often times, keeping up with the Joneses is a bad idea. These ideas only bury us to be greedy that we end up buying the things that we do not need. Proverbs 15:27 (ASV) tells us that "He that is greedy of gain troubleth his own house."
Contentment in life is not based on what we have in life. It's all about being happy on what we have. St Paul wrote to the Philippians (4:11) "Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am."
Being content is not about being simple or it's not about being rich. It's all about how you live a life of love. You will not be content if you do not love. Love more and give more. Be generous not only to the people you know but also to the people that you do not know. Most importantly, if you really want to live a life of contentment, be grateful. Start your day by thanking God every day. Scripture says, "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts... and be thankful." (Colossians 3:15).
God promised us that he will never abandon or forsake us. (Matthew 6:32)
His words should be more than enough to be grateful for.
For me, one of the best ways of expressing your gratefulness to God is through tithing. When you tithe, you are giving your share to spread the goodness of our God.
Malachi 3:10 says, "Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house."
Do you think God really needs your money? I personally don't think so. Even without your money, there will be food in His house. He is the source of everything. I believe that this scripture was intended for us to be part of his great plan of establishing His kingdom here on earth. As His sons and daughters, he wants us to return a part of the blessings that He entrusted to each and every one of us so that we may receive more. If you can be trusted in little wealth, for sure He will entrust you with greater wealth. It is in giving that we receive more.
Tithing is a divine principle of giving. In the Old Testament, they taught us to give one tenth of our earnings. I believe this is a good guideline to follow because the amount you will be giving is specific.
The New Testament teaches us to give as much as we can. We're taught to listen to our hearts as far as giving is concerned, 2 Corinthians 8:3 says, "For I testify that according to their ability, and beyond their ability, they gave of their own accord."
Whether you follow the ten percent rule or more, just remember that tithing is a financial principle that should be followed by people who believe in God. This should always be a part of your budget.
Proverbs 3:9 says, "Honor the LORD from your wealth and from the first of all your produce."
Remember, good financial stewardship requires that we offer our tithes to the Lord. It should be given in the local church of your membership. God, in turn, promises to honor our faithfulness with divine protection, material blessing, and eternal rewards (Malachi 3:10-12).
Finally, never worry how much will you give to our Lord. It's not how much we give that counts, it's how much what is left behind. When you think you have lost more, just wait and see. In the end, you will find out that you can never outdo the generosity of our Lord!
God is the greatest!
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Show All » 2011/08 » Move Up
Wednesday, August 31, 2011Move Up
Once there was a donkey that fell in to an old empty well. The farmer, who owns the donkey, looked at the beast and tried to figure how to get it out of there. Having thought of nothing to get the donkey out of the well, he decided to simply bury his donkey alive!
(Did you notice something unusual in this story? I will tell you later.)
So the farmer called his neighbors to shovel dirt into the well. At first the donkey got frightened and panicked. He started shouting, "hee haw hee haw!" (In English, this means, "Hey I'm still alive"… I guess)
After some time the donkey realized something...
Now, before we bury the donkey, let's reflect a bit on this story?
Have you ever felt a time in your life where life itself is throwing dirt at you? Problems seem to hit you at all directions. Even when you feel everything is OK, when you least expected it, suddenly dirt smacks you in the face, POW!
There will be times when you can even feel the bitterness of the dirt!
There are others who do not only feel that dirt is being thrown at them, but feel that they are being buried alive. Their problems pile up from one to the next, until their problems are bigger than they are.
Despite of all the dirt in the world being thrown at you, did you know that you can use this very same dirt to come out victorious?
We can use life's problems and troubles to produce strength, wisdom, perseverance, patience and other virtues in us that will help us succeed in life. The dirt thrown at you can be used to increase your stature, your being, your value.
This is what the donkey found out while he was being buried.
The donkey realized that if he shakes the dirt of his back, the ground under him gets higher. Every time the farmer and his neighbors threw dirt at him, he shakes the dirt and move up. The more dirt they dump, the harder he shakes and the higher he goes. He continued to shake the dirt off and move up until the well was full.
At this point, I will leave to your imagination what the donkey did to the farmer and his neighbors when he got out of the well.
The first time I read this story, I immediately notice how the farmer gave up so easily in saving his animal which I find unusual for a farmer. Losing a domestic animal with so many uses, why would one give up saving it so easily?
He never put any effort to try any other solution but to bury the donkey, alive! In fairness, the farmer did try to figure out solutions to save the donkey but he never tried to act on them except to bury the poor donkey.
Have you notice that doing to yourself sometimes? When you face a problem, instead trying every solution that you find in an effort to preserve it, you turn your back, give up and simply bury it.
I used to be this impatient but I learned a lot from my experience. I have learned that you will always win, no matter what, when you try to save something and for most all saving someone regardless if they deserve it or not. This is what I learned from my faith. "For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit." (1 Peter 3:18)
We are all empowered to do the same thing.
In my case, whenever I find myself in the farmer's position, I take the extra mile to save and keep relationships. My efforts have always brought me to the next level of relationship with people; this very same effort helps me to more empathetic, understanding, forgiving and being kind which adds value in my being. This is God's grace. Whether the relationship is worth saving or not I can always say, at the very least, I tried.
Now, if you are in the position of the donkey, this could be a bit more challenging because you are the underdog.
How can you move up when you are the one being buried?
The last thing that you need to do when dirt is being thrown at you is to be bitter. If this is the case, you won't need other people to bury you because your own bitterness will bury you alive.
We should imitate the donkey. Instead of being bitter, giving up and letting himself be buried, he shook the dirt of off him, stepped on it and moves up. Instead of being buried under, he moved up.
We too should learn to shake our problems and step on it. And like the donkey, it's just a matter of time when we get out of our hole.
Remember, "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it." (1 Corinthians 10:13)
St. Thomas Aquinas describes wisdom as the view from the hill top. We can raise our hilltops with whatever life gives or throws at us. The good, bad and even the most painful experiences can be an opportunity for us to grow in wisdom, virtues and value.
With much dirt under your feet, you have a better view in life. And you will see that the view is awesome up there!
God never created you so that anybody can just throw dirt at you. If you think about it, are we not more valuable than donkeys?
All of us are bound for greatness!
My youngest son once asked me, how do we give meaning to our lives?
I assured him one thing - a person does not have to be extraordinary or do something spectacular to give meaning to their lives. By simply being a blessing giver, you are on your way to move up to greatness!
Sometimes we are too hard on our self. We put a high standard on what God wants us to do and what God wants us to be. Sometimes, the standards that we have for ourselves are factors that draw us away rather than drawing us closer to God. If these standards are based on performance rather than building relationships, oftentimes, they are the wrong standards to follow.
I'm not saying that we should not serve our God in perfection. Of course we should. What I'm saying is do not place a very high standard for your own self which in turn may affect the people around you.
Instead of encouraging them and bringing them closer to God, you may end up driving them away. Remember, your standard may be different from others. In my case, I have very high standards when selecting to music. I cannot tell my wife that she should listen to my kind of music because for me, that is the best. But my best may be her worst.
What I'm saying is love, kindness and compassion should be above these standards which results to peace, harmony and unity.
But go and learn what this means: 'I desire compassion, and not sacrifice,' for I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners. (Matthew 9:13)
This is the reason why most people cannot move up. They are being dragged down by their wrong beliefs!
That God punishes sinners, and we have to be perfect to win Gods favor.
People follow strict adherence to their own standards and their own laws and traditions that they missed the real meaning of following God's law. When you focus on what your standards are without regard for others or the hurt we might cause them, I believe, this is not what God wants us to do.
We thought we could win God's favor by doing the "right things." Our pride and principles has become more important than God's love and mercy. Standards are set so high to show off and "look good" to gain people's attention and praise.
Scripture says, "But when you are invited, go and recline at the last place, so that when the one who has invited you comes, he may say to you, 'Friend, move up higher'; then you will have honor in the sight of all who are at the table with you." (Luke 14:10)
Being humble and meek is better than being humiliated.
Friends, move up and bring others with you. Don't be the person who brings people down. Do not be the reason why others people lives are miserable. Never step on people to move up but rather share whatever you have so everyone will be blessed by your presence.
When we share what we have and share our lives with others, we have no need to show off, moving up is automatic!
By the way, did you know what happened to the donkey after he got out of the hole? The donkey was fetched by one of the disciples of Jesus so that he could ride the donkey when he enters triumphantly in Jerusalem!
God is the greatest!
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