Show All » 2009/12 » What's in your shopping list?
Friday, December 04, 2009What's in your shopping list?
It's December! People making lists, buying special gifts, taking time to be kind to one and all. It's that time of year when good friends are near, and you wish you could give more than just presents from a store.
Why don't you give love on Christmas Day!
Sounds familiar? It's a song sung by the Jackson 5. The message of the song - "no greater gift is there than love."
But, what if the person you are trying to give your love to is the person who hurt you most? A cheating husband or wife who left you for no reason? A partner who ruined your dreams? A parent who abandoned you when you were young? A friend who molested you? A relative who took your money?
Can you still sing this song - from the heart?
Before I continue, let me share you what happened to me on black Friday.
For those of you who do not know what black Friday is, this is not like Friday the 13th or some scary stuff. Black Friday is a thanksgiving sale in the US which is similar to Boxing Day in Canada. In the Philippines, we call this midnight madness or "tiangge" that has super duper crazy deals.
On black Friday at seven in the morning, my sister sent me a text message asking if I want something from an electronic store (wow, what a way to wake me up). I told her, if you see a good portable navigation system or GPS that's priced with more than 50 percent discount, buy it. After several text messages, she found one and bought it.
After 3 days, I called her asking to return it back to the store.
What happened?
Did I find a better deal here in the local store? Did I find out that I was short of budget? Or I just want to give my lovely sister a hard time by going back to the store and return it? (Hey, I'm not that mean to my sisters... am I right my dear sisters?)
After 3 days, I realized I don't need it.
Although my work requires me to drive a lot, in God's grace, I am a person who has a good sense of direction when it comes to roads. I get lost once in a while, probably one out of ten in every new place that I go. On average, I only go to new places once or twice every three months.
Let me burn some brain cells for a moment, assuming that I consume one litre of gasoline every time I get lost, I would consume two litres every three months. If the gasoline is two dollars per litre, I would be out $16 dollars a year. The price of the GPS my sister bought was $160. If that's the case, it's okay to get lost for the next ten years!
I excluded the calculation for depreciation but I think I made my point.
So, given the assumptions, the GPS is not a need but a want. If I don't need it, why would I buy it? (We will talk about the difference between needs and wants next year.)
Often, what we purchase places tremendous pressure on us to spend more to "fill in the picture."
What do I mean?
Have you heard about the story about the cigarette ashtray auction?
A middle aged woman won a very unique ashtray from an auction. It was so special that she placed it at the center of the living room table so everyone can see it upon entering the house.
Being an interior decorator by profession, she found out that the living room table did not match the color of the ashtray.
The next day, she ordered a new table to replace the old one to match the design of the ashtray. After replacing the table, she found out that the ashtray and the table did not match the color of the sofa.
The following day, she talked to her designer to change the leather cover of her sofa. After changing the color of her sofa, she found out that the ashtray, table and sofa, did not match the color of the window curtains, and the walls, and the granite flooring.
Can you guess what happened next? She ended up tearing the house to build a new one!
Okay, I know I'm exaggerating.
Never, ever allow the things you have control your life or do not change your life to go along with what you have.
Of course we all want to look good - with matching styles, colors and the works but some people do not know when to stop. We all want to have what those around us have –- consumerism has become a measure of our social worth.
Many justify their actions by saying "is it bad to reward myself? I worked hard for it and its Christmas anyway; I'm giving myself a treat?"
I'm not against that. I'll repeat this again, I am not against rewarding yourself. But rewarding yourself does not mean that you have to punish yourself in the end.
This is the problem - the things that we purchased have become the "status symbol" of who we are. I will repeat this again, never, ever allow the things you have control your life or do not change your life to go along with what you have.
This also applies to gift giving. This is why I prefer giving love to others during Christmas rather than giving gifts - ask my wife about this. (Now you know how cheap I am - nothing but love! My wife is actually proof-reading this and she said, "excuse me, how can you prove your love to me without the gift?)
This Christmas, giving love will be the greatest gift that you can give. This year and every year, this should be number one in your shopping list.
Say that you love your wife or husband or parents or friends and back it up with action. A Christmas card or a chocolate bar can add more value to your words.
Remember, they are not just material things. If your wife is doing the laundry, help her by folding the clothes or if your son is doing his or her homework, sit down and offer some help or give them encouraging words so they can finish their work. There are several ways that you can do to show how much you love them. These are small things that we neglect to do but if they are done with the intention of showing how much you love them, they mean a lot.
You cannot measure your love by the amount of your gift. I had a friend before who receives a new car every year but he never had the time to enjoy quality time with his parents.
There is nothing greater than giving love on Christmas day. Giving love can only be equalled by returning love to the giver. No amount of material gift can match the gift of real love. No money can buy love.
But Allen, how can I love my husband who keeps on hurting me? How can I love my cheating wife? How can I love my boss who's taking advantage of me? How can I love my friend who keeps on abusing me? How can I love my irresponsible relative who doesn't know how to bless their blessings?
Scripture says, "Love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men." (Luke 6:35)
It's so hard to love the unlovable. However, "if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them." Luke (6:32)
"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in righteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a)
The message of advent is about repentance and forgiveness. If we have a God who is kind to ungrateful and evil men, who are we to deprive this gift by passing this grace to our fellow brothers and sisters.
This advent season, instead of filling your shopping list with the things you want to buy, try doing something for a change. Have a list if people that you would want to reconcile with. Create a shopping list on what you want to give them.
Don't give them expensive gifts like a nuclear time bomb or a king cobra with scorpions on the side but kidding aside, give them something that would make them feel that you want to be friends again.
That is the best gift that you can give not only to that person but to yourself.
Pray for that person and bless them.
If they are no longer living, offer a prayer for their soul.
I pray that our Lord would give us the courage to reconcile with our brother or sister and be grateful that you are able recover a love that was lost.
This is my shopping list.
God is the greatest!
Go back to top to Post or View Comments
