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Wednesday, July 28, 2010How Old Can You Get?
Two weeks ago, I blogged about our awesome trip in Hawaii but I never mentioned why we went there in the first place. It's definitely not to fish! Our deep sea fishing experience was a bonus!
I went there to attend our family reunion. Four generations of laughter and fun was all over the place, it was awesome and rare! It was rare in a sense that it was the first time for me to attend a reunion where a brother and three sisters gather together at their age of 93, 88, 85 and 82 respectively.
It's amazing! I wish my three sisters and I could do the same thing when we reach that age and I hope we will.
I thought their secret was eating "malunggay" leaves (Moringa oelifera). That's only a part of it, eating healthy foods. But there is more and I will reveal to you their secrets (don't tell them I told you... it's our secret).
It's unfortunate for some people who reach their age but they never had the opportunity enjoy such gatherings with their siblings for the reason that some of them may not be in good terms while others live far away from each other or some of the siblings have died.
Although we do not have control over death, I'm sure there are ways where you could be together wherever you are. If you are not in good terms, this could be your chance to restore your relationship and that is within your control. Anything within our control can be resolved easily. But regardless of the reasons we have, we have to be sure that if we are going to live long enough; we have to love a lot to live a lot.
Henry Louis Mencken said, "You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth." The depth and width of your life is within your control.
This is a picture of me with my grandmothers and grandfather... priceless!
(From left to right - nana Maring, apo Andres, nana Consing (my grandma) and nana Allee)
Here are some of the secrets they have (not in the order of importance).
To live life to the fullest, make the most of what you have. Not what you want to have or not by what you do not have.
Our family is an average ordinary family ("average na, ordinary pa!"). I do not belong to a tycoon class or the so called don's and dona's. Whatever we have, we enjoy them to the max! I have been taught to be thankful in whatever I have and I'm grateful for it.
Another secret, don't place a timeline in your life. I have known some people who place a timeline for themselves. They say to themselves, "I'm going to live only up to the age of 60." Guess what, based on the power of their own word, that's what happens to them. They exercise the power of their words for their doom. Insane!
If you are living a full life, I have no doubt that you would want to live forever. People who are sick would give everything they have to extend their lives. I'm puzzled why some people put a timeline in their lives. I'm guessing the root cause of this behaviour is the way they perceive things. In my opinion, how you see the world has a big effect on whether you want to live more or less. (That's another future blog for me.)
Secret number three is doing what you want to do in life. It's difficult when you are doing something that you do not like. That can be a reason why you want to put a timeline in your life. Your perception becomes limited because you are not having fun. It can kill your creativity. The more you force yourself to do the things that you don't want to do, the harder life gets. I just hope you are not doing it to please other people.
Another secret of my grandmother is she never gets mad and she forgives every one, literally.
Forgiveness is a key ingredient to live a long life. If you want to commit suicide, try unforgiveness – it is deadly poison that causes everything from mental depression, to health problems such as cancer. I'm not saying that in every single case of cancer, it is due to unforgiveness. What I am saying is - it can cause cancer.
Mark 11:25 says, "Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions."
Grace flows freely if you have forgiveness. It is essential for good human relationship and with God.
The weight of unforgiveness greatly drags a person down. It is a heavy load to carry. "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." (Matthew 11:29-30)
When faced with decisions whether you will forgive and forget, do not let that opportunity pass you. You may say, "You did not know what this person did to me." I accept that but have you become aware of what unforgiveness is doing to you?
It does not matter what happened to you, what really matters is what is happening in you.
Unforgiveness leads to bitterness and bitterness to revenge.
Unforgiveness is always two sides, the other party always blame that the other person is at fault. It's not the forgiving part that is hard because that is only step one. The hard part is when the other party is not willing to forgive you.
This is very hard especially if you love that person so much.
Why are there people who could not forgive the one they used to love? Is it fear of being hurt the second time? The biggest dilemma they can face is they may be too late when they are ready to forgive.
If unforgiveness is a poison, envy is a disease.
I told you that I have been taught to be thankful in whatever but that doesn't mean I was exempted not to have this disease. Although I'm not immune, I thank God I outgrew this weakness and I pray it stays that way.
Remember, what happens in your life has nothing to do with what is happening in other people's lives.
It's so tempting to measure other achievements by what others have done. I learned not to measure my success by what others have or haven't done.
Many people have the mistaken idea that they can make themselves great by showing how small someone else is. The problem is, when you try to compare yourself to an average person, you're an average person yourself because in the first place, why would you compare.
Another thing, although this is not a secret, it requires the participation of the whole family - giving the respect they deserve.
Old people get neglected. But here's what the scriptures have to say. "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." (1 Timothy 5:8)
Exodus 20:12 says, "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you."
"You shall rise up before the grayheaded and honor the aged, and you shall revere your God; I am the Lord." (Leviticus 19:32)
"Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger men as brothers, the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, in all purity." (1 Timothy 5:1-2)
"Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old." (Proverbs 23:22)
I could go on and on in quoting the scriptures but the message is the same - giving the respect they deserve.
I praise the people who lovingly took care of the elders in their family. It's hard. I personally know this because I took care of my grandmother for a while.
When they asked me to be an emcee on our reunion event, regardless of how hectic my schedule was and not to mention the money involved in bringing my family to the reunion, all I can say was yes, we will be there. Count me in!
By the way, although this one does not prolong one's life, it is essential to have a fully paid coverage before you retire - a life insurance. It's for the benefit of the people that you are going to leave behind. It's like a gift for them for taking care of you during your old age.
Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you deal with it and the way you perceive things that makes the difference. Whether you succeed or fail in life, it's still what you do after that count. That's what prolongs your life. Remember, our failures are our temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent and that's the end of the road.
How I wish each and every one of us would also experience the joy my grandparents had that night. Cheers for a long life!
(That's me giving praises under the sunset of Napili Bay, Maui)
God is the greatest!
Posted By: Allen Espejo @ 1:40:44 AM
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