Show All » 2010/07 » How Old Can You Get?
Wednesday, July 28, 2010How Old Can You Get?
Two weeks ago, I blogged about our awesome trip in Hawaii but I never mentioned why we went there in the first place. It's definitely not to fish! Our deep sea fishing experience was a bonus!
I went there to attend our family reunion. Four generations of laughter and fun was all over the place, it was awesome and rare! It was rare in a sense that it was the first time for me to attend a reunion where a brother and three sisters gather together at their age of 93, 88, 85 and 82 respectively.
It's amazing! I wish my three sisters and I could do the same thing when we reach that age and I hope we will.
I thought their secret was eating "malunggay" leaves (Moringa oelifera). That's only a part of it, eating healthy foods. But there is more and I will reveal to you their secrets (don't tell them I told you... it's our secret).
It's unfortunate for some people who reach their age but they never had the opportunity enjoy such gatherings with their siblings for the reason that some of them may not be in good terms while others live far away from each other or some of the siblings have died.
Although we do not have control over death, I'm sure there are ways where you could be together wherever you are. If you are not in good terms, this could be your chance to restore your relationship and that is within your control. Anything within our control can be resolved easily. But regardless of the reasons we have, we have to be sure that if we are going to live long enough; we have to love a lot to live a lot.
Henry Louis Mencken said, "You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth." The depth and width of your life is within your control.
This is a picture of me with my grandmothers and grandfather... priceless!
(From left to right - nana Maring, apo Andres, nana Consing (my grandma) and nana Allee)
Here are some of the secrets they have (not in the order of importance).
To live life to the fullest, make the most of what you have. Not what you want to have or not by what you do not have.
Our family is an average ordinary family ("average na, ordinary pa!"). I do not belong to a tycoon class or the so called don's and dona's. Whatever we have, we enjoy them to the max! I have been taught to be thankful in whatever I have and I'm grateful for it.
Another secret, don't place a timeline in your life. I have known some people who place a timeline for themselves. They say to themselves, "I'm going to live only up to the age of 60." Guess what, based on the power of their own word, that's what happens to them. They exercise the power of their words for their doom. Insane!
If you are living a full life, I have no doubt that you would want to live forever. People who are sick would give everything they have to extend their lives. I'm puzzled why some people put a timeline in their lives. I'm guessing the root cause of this behaviour is the way they perceive things. In my opinion, how you see the world has a big effect on whether you want to live more or less. (That's another future blog for me.)
Secret number three is doing what you want to do in life. It's difficult when you are doing something that you do not like. That can be a reason why you want to put a timeline in your life. Your perception becomes limited because you are not having fun. It can kill your creativity. The more you force yourself to do the things that you don't want to do, the harder life gets. I just hope you are not doing it to please other people.
Another secret of my grandmother is she never gets mad and she forgives every one, literally.
Forgiveness is a key ingredient to live a long life. If you want to commit suicide, try unforgiveness – it is deadly poison that causes everything from mental depression, to health problems such as cancer. I'm not saying that in every single case of cancer, it is due to unforgiveness. What I am saying is - it can cause cancer.
Mark 11:25 says, "Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions."
Grace flows freely if you have forgiveness. It is essential for good human relationship and with God.
The weight of unforgiveness greatly drags a person down. It is a heavy load to carry. "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." (Matthew 11:29-30)
When faced with decisions whether you will forgive and forget, do not let that opportunity pass you. You may say, "You did not know what this person did to me." I accept that but have you become aware of what unforgiveness is doing to you?
It does not matter what happened to you, what really matters is what is happening in you.
Unforgiveness leads to bitterness and bitterness to revenge.
Unforgiveness is always two sides, the other party always blame that the other person is at fault. It's not the forgiving part that is hard because that is only step one. The hard part is when the other party is not willing to forgive you.
This is very hard especially if you love that person so much.
Why are there people who could not forgive the one they used to love? Is it fear of being hurt the second time? The biggest dilemma they can face is they may be too late when they are ready to forgive.
If unforgiveness is a poison, envy is a disease.
I told you that I have been taught to be thankful in whatever but that doesn't mean I was exempted not to have this disease. Although I'm not immune, I thank God I outgrew this weakness and I pray it stays that way.
Remember, what happens in your life has nothing to do with what is happening in other people's lives.
It's so tempting to measure other achievements by what others have done. I learned not to measure my success by what others have or haven't done.
Many people have the mistaken idea that they can make themselves great by showing how small someone else is. The problem is, when you try to compare yourself to an average person, you're an average person yourself because in the first place, why would you compare.
Another thing, although this is not a secret, it requires the participation of the whole family - giving the respect they deserve.
Old people get neglected. But here's what the scriptures have to say. "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." (1 Timothy 5:8)
Exodus 20:12 says, "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you."
"You shall rise up before the grayheaded and honor the aged, and you shall revere your God; I am the Lord." (Leviticus 19:32)
"Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger men as brothers, the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, in all purity." (1 Timothy 5:1-2)
"Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old." (Proverbs 23:22)
I could go on and on in quoting the scriptures but the message is the same - giving the respect they deserve.
I praise the people who lovingly took care of the elders in their family. It's hard. I personally know this because I took care of my grandmother for a while.
When they asked me to be an emcee on our reunion event, regardless of how hectic my schedule was and not to mention the money involved in bringing my family to the reunion, all I can say was yes, we will be there. Count me in!
By the way, although this one does not prolong one's life, it is essential to have a fully paid coverage before you retire - a life insurance. It's for the benefit of the people that you are going to leave behind. It's like a gift for them for taking care of you during your old age.
Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you deal with it and the way you perceive things that makes the difference. Whether you succeed or fail in life, it's still what you do after that count. That's what prolongs your life. Remember, our failures are our temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent and that's the end of the road.
How I wish each and every one of us would also experience the joy my grandparents had that night. Cheers for a long life!
(That's me giving praises under the sunset of Napili Bay, Maui)
God is the greatest!
Posted By: Allen Espejo @ 1:40:44 AM
Go back to top to Post or View Comments
Show All » 2010/07 » Ask and Expect
Sunday, July 11, 2010Ask and Expect
Have you ever experienced deep sea fishing?
A few days ago, I went deep sea fishing with my cousins in Hawaii. We did three methods of fishing. I have learned trolling; this involves towing baited hooks through the water. We trolled at 6000 feet deep. The second method is called jigging. We did this somewhere between 350 to 400 feet deep. This is where you have to free-spool the jig and let it drop to the bottom of the sea and retrieve it with a fast motion and the last method is called popping, a fishing method that creates noise for the fish to notice.
The whole experience was awesome! A picture says a thousand words!
At the end of the day, we cruise around the coast of Honolulu viewing the Diamond Head from the ocean, what a treat! If you will ask me how much did I spend to do all these things, my answer - $0.
Before we went to Hawaii, I asked my cousin if we could go deep sea fishing. I did not know what to expect because I have no idea how it's done, however, I did expect to have a very memorable experience - I got more what I asked for!
I believe this is how we should act when we are asking something from God. We ask for God to give us provision and we expect. Our expectations may not conform to what God will give us but it is guaranteed that we will receive more than we have asked for.
Many times I have fallen short of recognizing God's answer. I always wanted His answer to be something spectacular and that led me to overlook the small miracles that happen in my daily life.
But, is it wrong to ask something spectacular from God?
Of course not! However, when your prayers are answered in a way that does not conform to your expectations, pray that you don't fail to recognize it or you'll miss out.
How do we ask God for something spectacular? In Prayer.
Remember, praying alone becomes offensive only when you have no other options and you have no choices to make and you can't do anything about your situation. For most of the time, prayer and action goes together. Faith without works is dead. (James 2:26)
The first step for an answered prayer remains the same, we have to ask. "Until now you have asked for nothing in My name; ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be made full." (John 16:24)
If you are not receiving what you are asking for, try to reflect on the following questions:
First question, are you asking based on God's will? Will you be able to glorify God if he gives you what you are asking for or is it for self glorification?
Second, do you maintain a good relationship with God? Okay, there are times when this rule becomes an exception because I believe grace is available to anyone even when you are in the worst condition of your life. Just imagine the person crucified beside Jesus during his crucifixion, "today you shall be with Me in paradise" (Luke 23:43) - what grace! Regardless, maintaining a good relationship with our God gives you better assurance that your prayer will be answered.
Third, are you using the authority given to you when saying your prayers? Asking in behalf of Jesus - asking in His name.
Fourth, do you have the faith to believe that you are going to receive what you have prayed for? Expect that you will receive what you have prayed for.
The verse reference for these questions are found in my blog entitled - "What if God does not provide?"
Ask like a son or a daughter.
My son asked me, "Dad, can I enrol in an acting program?" For most parents, you would probably agree with this response, "Why don't you enrol in a university and get a degree before you go acting." Sounds familiar?
Our conversation didn't go that way. I said, "Okay, do your acting and see how it goes. If you do not see any progress after a year, go to college." I believe this is a fair decision, letting him do what he asked for. I do not want to impose something that he would not do.
Since I want him to be what he wanted to be, I will support him in every way I can even though it is a bit beyond our means to enrol him in an acting schools and because I believe in his talents, skills and capabilities and I know that he will be doing his best to be the best in what he wanted to do, I enrolled him in the program. He is my son and I trust in him.
What I'm saying is this... me, in my sinfulness, in my limited capabilities, in my insignificance knows how to give good things and support my son for him to successful in life, how much more will our heavenly Father who is omnipotent and who has everything would give us.
The problem is, we do not ask.
I can never forget the day on how God provided me a car during the time when I was at the lowest point of my life. At that time, my wife and two boys (ages 5 and 7) committed ourselves to attend our weekly prayer meeting held every Thursday. We have to commute almost two hours from our home to the venue. In God's grace, there are times when our friend would give us a ride.
One afternoon, while waiting for our friend, I asked God in prayer if He could provide us a car for our transportation.
Two days before that, one of our "tito's" (a community elder in the Philippines) bought a new car. I always wanted his old car because we used it a lot in our outreach work. That day, I never asked him if he was going to sell it because I know how he loved his old car. Also, there is no point of asking him the question because I know I would just be wasting my time asking if I have no intention of buying it or worse, I have no resources to buy it.
Two days after, I found myself asking God for a car and I specifically wanted to have his car.
While praying, I heard a very clear voice telling me, "Hindi ka kasi humihingi!" (you never asked).
(I told you a similar story about hearing the voice of God - "Lessons from my Weaknesses - Part 2 of 3". I do not hear God's voice often, but when I hear it, I know that he is the one talking to me - I still have to understand this gift.)
Anyway, I replied back saying, "Lord, I want that car."
When we arrived in our prayer meeting, I heard the news that our "tito" is selling his car for 150,000 pesos. Without being serious, I asked him that if I were to buy his car, how much he would sell it. He said, "For you, I will sell it for 100,000 pesos." What a bargain! This time, my tone changed with a little bit of expectation and a given timeline. I said, "Give me one week and if I do not call you, you can sell it."
That day, my money was enough to pay for our fare going to and back from the prayer meeting. It was fortunate that our friend picked us up, so I was able to save money for the following day to pay for my fare to go where I need to go. I ask and expect that I will have the car. I never questioned the "how."
Five days later, we bought the car in cash. As to who or where the money came from, I would hide that as a secret so our Lord would continue blessing them abundantly and continue to give them good health.
Our God goes beyond our needs. He gives not only our needs but also our wants. He is waiting for us to ask.
Remember, when we ask for something, we should be specific. Imagine a person asking you for something vague, I have no doubt that you will get a fuzzy answer.
If you say "I want money" and I give you 25 cents, I have granted your request. If you say, I want more money and I give you another 25 cents, I granted your request. If you say, I want one million dollars; I have no choice but to give you one million dollars. Do you accept cheques?
I don't have to guess how much you need because you give me a specific number. I guess this is the same thing with God.
By the way, why is it that there are times when we don't ask?
Is it because of your pride?
I know a lot of people who are trained not to ask for anything from anyone. Self reliance is strength in a person's character. However, there will be times when being self reliant is not enough to face your challenges in life. Things are done easier if you ask. Too much self-reliance can also back fire as your ego can build up which is often the source of pride.
Do you feel unworthy of asking? Are you ashamed to ask?
When I found out that my "tito" bought a new car, I did not ask if he was selling his old car. I felt unworthy to ask that question because I know I do not have the means to get them. I have the "nakakahiya" (I'm ashamed) attitude. You should never be ashamed to ask if you are asking for your own good and for the betterment of your family, your friends, and for others.
Don't you know that it is okay to ask?
A lot of people I know don't know that it is okay to ask, especially when asking God. I have said this many times before, "hindi na lang ako hihingi kasi nakakahiya kay Lord. Hindi naman nya ako pinapabayaan." (I would not bother asking from God, after all He provides for our needs). I was dead wrong! God gave us freewill to choose and ask what we want - that is a gift coming from God - free will. Ask and you shall receive.
Don't you trust the giver?
I do not need to ask because God is not giving it to me anyway. Seriously, what kind of a father who would not give his son his needs? Is God that stingy? "Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?" (Matthew 6:26)
Finally, are we afraid of what other people would say?
Before, whenever I hear someone asking me for too much, you would hear me say these words - "Ang kapal naman ng mukha nito!" (How dare you ask me those things - actually this translation is a nice version). Of course I don't say it directly to the person, I just say it to myself or else I will be in trouble. Or, "napaka arrogante naman!" (such arrogance!) The best one is "ang taas ng pangarap mo boy!" (Hey kid, you dream too high).
Remember this; the people who criticise the most are the ones who really don't have anything important to say. God told me to ask for a car, I got it. I did not mind what other people would say.
If God told you to start your own business, even if you don't see a way how you are going to get the money, don't give up but keep on believing. When people say things like, "If God told you to start your own business, how come you are struggling? Where are you going to get the money?" You have to learn how to respond to them with the word; "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," says the LORD. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, and do not return there, but water the earth, and make it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it. For you shall go out with joy, and be led out with peace; The mountains and the hills Shall break forth into singing before you, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands." (Isaiah 55:8-12)
Many people have given up on their dreams because they have tried to please everyone and it didn't work. Even if you make a mistake, don't get discourage about it, as long as you know that you are doing what God wants you to do, nothing else should matter.
As you continue pursue the things of God, you will be faced with many obstacles. Many of these obstacles will be allowed by God to see if you are more concerned about what people think you should be doing or what God say you should be doing. I have learned (and I still am) what to say to people.
When you leave all the consequences to God, He will not put you to shame. You have to understand that, "God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should repent; has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?" (Numbers 23:19).
This is why, do not be afraid to ask and expect that you will receive what you asked for - in Gods perfect timing.
Thank you Dado and Mary for the awesome fishing experience! Mahalo!
God is the greatest!
Go back to top to Post or View Comments
Records 1 to 2 of 2 |
